


Whining

by orphan_account



Category: Dracula Untold (2014), The Little Mermaid (1989)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Funny, Gen, Hilarious, Out of Character, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6847312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three days is all they have in common. Vlad and Ariel get together to complain about… stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whining

**Author's Note:**

> English is my second language. The last line was inspired by The Three Musketeers (2011). And that mysterious laughter toward the end? That was me laughing my head off while writing this. No joke!

Ariel (a force of nature): “You’re him, aren’t you?”

Vlad (taken by surprise): “Excuse me?”

Ariel (insensitive): “You’re him, the most famous victim of the three-days-rule.”

Vlad (totally confused): “You must forgive me; I still have no idea what you are talking about.”

Ariel (very much in control): “Hi, I’m Ariel. As you can see… or maybe you can’t, well, I’m a mermaid!”

Vlad (on his guard): “Glad to meet you, Ariel. My name is Vlad. I am…”

Ariel (smug): “A vampire, I know! So… What do you think?”

Vlad (stumped): “Excuse me?”

Ariel (derisive): “Are you always repeating yourself?”

Vlad (vengeful): “Only in the presence of childish and impetuous mermaids.”

Ariel (self-conscious): “Oh. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to sound so… Anyway, I should probably tell you a little bit about myself.”

Vlad (forgiving): “I would appreciate that.”

Ariel (reassured): “Are you always so formal? Here it is: I fell in love with a human prince and became human myself to make him fall in love with me, but I had only three days to succeed. Now you tell me, how is that fair? Only three days!”

Vlad (mirroring): “I have suffered a similar fate. I fell in love with a human princess and became a vampire to protect her and our son, but I had only three days to defeat an entire army of Turks. Does that seem feasible to you?”

Ariel (in full victim mode): “Not at all! Three days is total nonsense! You can’t even say hello in under an hour, how are you supposed to fall in love with someone in three short days?”

Vlad (still mirroring): “That’s hardly enough time to win even a single battle, let alone a war. Not enough time to succeed, but plenty of time to fail.”

Ariel (triumphant): “My point exactly! Who invented that stupid rule anyway?”

Vlad (getting the hang of it): “Precisely. Why couldn't it have been four days or five? Or two for that matter?”

Ariel (mollified): “You said it! I was just telling Sebastian – you know Sebastian, right?”

Vlad (puzzled, but unimpressed): “I have always enjoyed… sea food.”

Sebastian (dignified and outraged): “Now listen here, man! I am not sea food! I'm a musician of world renown!”

Ariel (bossy): “Shush, 'Bastian, you'll get your turn. As I was saying…”

Vlad (distracted): “Forgive me for interrupting you, but do you hear that?”

Ariel (playing dumb): “What? I don’t hear anything; I’ve got sea water in my ears.”

Sebastian (patronizing): “That’s called sea sickness, child.”

Ariel (rebellious): “No, it’s not! You don’t know everything, Sebastian!”

Vlad (impatient): “Silence! Do you hear that? Listen!”

Ariel (exasperated): “What? We don’t all have your super senses.”

Vlad (impulsive): “And I do not possess enough patience to banter with you. I hear laughter.”

Ariel (incredulous): “Laughter?”

Sebastian (fearful): “I think this is our cue to leave this place, child. Another time, man, yes?”

Vlad (relieved): “It will be my pleasure.”

Ariel (eager to help): “It was great to meet you, Vlad, really, just… loosen up.”

Vlad (skeptical): “I will remember your kind words of advice. Goodbye.”

Ariel (torn between dejection and perkiness): “See ya!”

Sebastian (in a hurry): “Bye, man!”

Vlad (to himself): “What a strange day.”


End file.
